Ruth Reflects
Published in Connect magazine, August 2005
It's been quite a journey for Ruth Jenni since she won 10 free Thrivecraft lifecoaching sessions in a connect competition. Here, she tells her own story in an interview with Katy Clarke.
Katy: Where were you in your life when you won the Thrivecraft competition?
Ruth: I am a musician and teach drumming part time. One of the things I felt two or three years ago was that I wanted to take my singing further. I had been on a workshop and what came up for me was that I desperately wanted to sing - and to sing my own songs. I felt terrified of the notion! I ran away from it for a while. Then I connected with it again and decided I needed to go for it.
Katy: So you were ripe to start your life-coaching journey?
Ruth: Well I went through two stages with that. A month or two prior to the competition being launched a friend was murdered and my life concepts were utterly blasted. Then six weeks later a major relationship ended and I was in a horrible space for a while. My ideas about spirituality and love were affected. I was knocked off course by all this and entered the competition as a way of getting back on track. Just setting it all down for the competition entry was good. I needed to re-engage with my goals.
Katy: How did you feel when you were told you had won?
Ruth: Excited! And it felt very right, actually.
Katy: How did it feel when you began the programme?
Ruth: I was excited and a little wary too. I could have been more receptive, but because of the things that had happened, the hugeness of it all, I wondered if I could be held by what at first seemed like Srimati’s lightness.
Katy: Did that change?
Ruth: Near the beginning, when I was writing at home on coaching topics, I felt really overwhelmed. (Probably because I am VERY thorough and gave myself rather hard goals!) I phoned Srimati and she was great, handled it really well. It was good to be met in my vulnerability, and trust built for me then.
Katy: Did you have any personal breakthroughs during your coaching programme?
At the beginning of April something happened that inspired me. A friend of mine was up against a really difficult situation and I found myself suddenly knowing what to say and do to coach her through it step by step. It was amazing to be able to do that for her and I came away with the question 'how can I be this good a coach for myself?' I worked with Srimati on this and came up with the affirmation 'I can coach myself through anything'.
Katy: Your feelings of what was possible were heightened?
Ruth: Yes, and suddenly I got lots done. With this new confidence and with my coach’s support I was able to tackle lots of things - doing my accounts, my diet and fitness, de-cluttering the house, progressing my musicianship. I had a great sense of achievement.
Katy: You’ve been progressing since?
Ruth: Well, just recently I’ve felt I’ve been struggling again, but I am getting there bit by bit. Now when there are problems in my life, or situations arising, I can get back to an ‘action place’ quicker. I can coach myself to just focus on the next thing that needs doing and know that it fits within my plan. I used to spend so much time being depressed because I couldn’t decide which was the most important thing to do next! The whole coaching experience with Srimati has given me awareness and a framework. I can see what I am doing.
Katy: Does it feel like you have a structure, a map?
Ruth: I’ve often had an image of my life and the things in it as a kind of web. All the different areas of my life are represented on this web. My vision has been to create a ‘clear’ web where the energy is flowing freely and it feels spacious and supportive. I’ve just realised in talking to you that there’s much improvement in how that feels. Many areas feel clearer.
Katy: Your web seems brighter?
Ruth: Well yes, when things are feeling possible then it feels the brightest it has ever done (and sometimes, to be honest, it feels pretty dark!) However, it is a structure that I can rely on when the going gets tough. The systems in my life work more efficiently now. The trick seems to be to have a clear structure for the detail to sit in so that it’s possible to have an overview as well. I’ve had a tendency to get stuck in detail, lose sense of what I’m achieving, and a habit of telling myself (in very creative and myriad ways!) that I’m a failure. It’s great now to be able to stand back and see some of the achievements.
Katy: Can you sum up what you have gained in the last six months?
Ruth: Reviewing things with Srimati helps me see what I’ve achieved and appreciate it as work in progress. The other day I wrote three sides of A4 of achievements small and large during the last six months and that was great, I’ve done SO MUCH! And still sometimes when I’m struggling the only things I can think of are what I haven’t achieved yet and how badly I’m doing! How mad is that? ! It’s been very intense and paradoxical.
Katy: Any last words?
Ruth: In six months time I’ll likely be clearer on the lasting gains from doing this work. Certainly, it has felt like a privilege to be part of this process. It has given me a lot.